What do you do when you can’t run? How do you stop yourself panicking when you’ve missed a week? How do you stop yourself getting into a downward spiral? Do you accept it and move on? Or try and compensate? How do you draw a line and keep going? How do you get going again?
The week started badly. I was due to run with Sarah on Tuesday morning, but I slept through my alarm. I’m using one of those vibrating ones, as J objected to being woken up by my mobile all the time. I tried putting it on my leg but, evidently, it didn’t work. It just got smothered by the duvet!
I got up feeling frustrated and pissed off and a bit worried and guilty (in case Sarah had waited for me) and just…..annoyed. I felt resentful of J for asking me not to set the alarm on my phone. I felt all sorts of things. I managed to rant to my running buddies (via messanger) rather than saying any of this, luckily. But it was not a good start to the week.
By Wednesday, I was full-on pre-menstrual and my mood was terrible. Thursday and Friday were bad days, too. I tried to run this morning with Kate, but it just wasn’t happening. And now, my throat is sore, which is what my colleague has. Her daughter has had full-blown high temperature etc. I’m hoping the rest of it passes me by…
I am finding it hard to just shrug this off.
I know if this was someone else, I’d be telling them not to worry. It happens. Tomorrow is another day. The marathon’s not until May. You’ve had a bad week. It’s winter. You have three kids, and work is knackering right now. Just forget it and move on.
But I can’t convince myself of all that right now. I’m feeling flat and panicky and I want to get back out there and have a decent run again.
What a difference a week makes….